We just had our second baby. My wife and I have been living in a separate apartment for close to seven years, very close to my parents’ house. We meet and greet, share lunch and brunch, but we don’t often spend a lot of time together day to day.
Because of our second kid, my mother has come to stay with us. She’s in her late fifties. Observing her, I feel like I’ve learned a lot from her habits and traits.
One thing is that she’s very action-oriented. She doesn’t wait for something to happen. You can see it in small things, like putting the garbage in the trash can. My wife and I usually only respond when the truck comes to collect it.
She doesn’t wait for a moment to arrive to fix things. The moment she notices something, she acts on it.
It’s been pretty amazing silently observing her. She consistently wakes up early, maybe takes a very short nap, and finishes things off, one after another. She doesn’t need a to-do list or a to-do app. One could say that’s because she’s not collaborating in a work setting. But I still find it quite inspiring, and I want to bring some of these habits into my lifestyle.
Another thing I’ve noticed, though not necessarily in a good way, is how much of her own free time, freedom and desires she sacrifices. I may be lacking the right word here.
Even if our baby cries at two in the morning and I ask, “Hey Mom, can you take care of him?” she doesn’t even show any concern on her face. I get frustrated. It clearly shows on my face, and I don’t like it afterwards.
She spends a lot of time with my elder daughter and gels very well with her. They have this quality time together, and she still cooks for so many people.
It’s amazing. I keep thinking that my work is hard and needs so much brainpower. But what I’ve learned from her behaviour is to think, “What’s the next thing you want me to work on?”
It’s not self-pressure. I’ve just noticed this pattern in myself where I’ll be using my phone, doomscrolling, and thinking, “I’ll do that thing when this happens or that happens.” But maybe that thing can be done in that moment itself.
For instance, I’ve been thinking of shooting a YouTube video reviewing some AI tools, or reading some podcast transcripts. But those things have mostly stayed in my brain.
I know this is a regular schedule for her. She’s been doing it for a long time. She’s been a homemaker since she got married. But I just felt like I wanted to document it.